


late night conversations

by goldenlavender (Forestgreengirl)



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: CT-5597 | Jesse Needs A Hug, CT-6116 | Kix Needs A Hug, Foreshadowing, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Post-Episode: s04e07 Darkness on Umbara, Romance, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 11:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24849238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forestgreengirl/pseuds/goldenlavender
Summary: a moment of quiet after Umbara. Kix and Jesse think about the future
Relationships: CT-5597 | Jesse & CT-6116 | Kix, CT-5597 | Jesse/CT-6116 | Kix
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49





	late night conversations

**Author's Note:**

> Beta-Read by @AngelWars !!! Thankyou dude!!

Jesse was half asleep when he felt the small space next to him dip with the weight of somebody lying there. He opened one eye as he scooted over to press himself against the wall. 

To no surprise it was Kix that had crawled next to him, as he sometimes did after particularly gruelling missions, when neither of them especially wanted to be alone. 

Jesse knew full well that Kix always struggled after those missions, often more than other brothers; despite how much he managed to conceal that. Jesse was well-aware of how stressful it was to be Head Medic. Kix was one of the people that were  _ relied  _ on to keep brothers alive, any failure sent him spiraling even further. 

After Umbara it had worsened for both of them. They had always known how easy it was for Clankers to shoot one of them down, for one of them to end up without the other; it had happened with Boil and Waxer, and Echo and Fives.

Jesse didn’t want to imagine a world without Kix by his side. They had been by each other’s sides since they were cadets. It just felt  _ wrong  _ to be separated. 

Jesse didn’t say anything when Kix burrowed closer, throwing a leg over Jesse's and keeping his head tucked into the ARCs neck. Jesse, in turn, just pulled his  _ riduur  _ closer, one arm over his shoulders.

“I’m glad you know that it wasn’t you that...we lost,” Kix mumbles, breath hot against Jesse's chest, “I know it’s selfish, but I don’t know if I could have handled it.” 

It was a moment of realisation on Umbara when Kix was put in that karking fire-squad against Jesse and Fives. Jesse can’t forget that moment of fear as he looked at Kix, it was one of the first times he properly considered what he would do without Kix. 

“I know  _ cyare. _ But we survived. We made it out alive,  _ together.” Jesse responds.  _

“We were lucky, so many men  _ didn’t.”  _ Kix’s breath shakes as he says it, like he’s barely holding himself back from losing it then and there. 

Jesse tugs Kix closer to him, voice significantly wetter than it was before, “I know, it wasn't fair, none of it was fair; but it also wasn’t  _ your  _ fault.”    
  
It's something Jesse and Kix could argue about for hours, something they  _ have  _ argued about for hours. No matter what Jesse said, no matter how hard he tried to convince him, Kix could never unlearn that habit of blaming himself for every  _ vod  _ that didn’t make it. It was as drilled into him as it was that you don’t question orders, or you never leave a brother behind.

“I’m the  _ medic,  _ it's my job to  _ save  _ brothers, and yet I  _ failed,  _ I went against everything,” Kix cuts himself off, taking a moment to shakily inhale before continuing, “I killed  _ vode,  _ what kind of medic am I.”    
  
Jesse leans backwards to stare Kix in the eyes, as he runs his hand up and down Kix’s shaking body, he could feel himself overflow with emotion, neither of them having truly processed what had happened on Umbara, neither of them having the time, ‘nor the energy to even  _ begin.  _

Jesse presses a gentle kiss to Kix’s lips, before pressing his forehead against Kix’s, voice low when he speaks, “You did your best, Kixy, it was an impossible situation to deal with, there wasn't much you  _ could've  _ done. Nothing that didn’t go against the General Krells' orders.”   
  
Jesse honestly thinks he  _ hates  _ Krell, hates him like he hates the kaminoans, like he hates every kriffing Seperatist and Seperatist-sympathiser; and everybody that is so karking determined to  _ break  _ them apart. It’s something he finds himself swallowing down when he speaks, hoping that General Skywalker doesn't notice. He doesn't want to bring attention to himself. 

“The best thing is,  _ cyar’ika,  _ is that we made it back, and we made it back  _ together.”  _

They lapse into a moment of near-silence, the sound of brothers outside being the only thing echoing through the otherwise quiet room, and the sound of the pairs' breathing, just enjoying the time that they have _ together.  _

“One day this war will end, and we will be able to escape this.” Jesse whispers, voicing the thoughts that he’s spent nights thinking about, ‘escaping’. e didn’t hate what he did, he loved helping people, and he loved his  _ vode,  _ and his General; but a part of him can’t help but long for the  _ choice.  _

“What are,” Kix starts hesitantly, voice half muffled due to him currently being half buried against Jesse, “What are we going to do after the war ends? When soldiers aren’t needed.”

It’s something that every  _ vod  _ has thought about at least once. What  _ would  _ become of them after the war? Jesse himself has thought about it, whether he would just settle down somewhere, just settle down with Kix and live.

It never feels right. He’s not sure he’s meant to ever settle. 

“I’m not sure, Kixy, something with you. You’d miss my face without me around. ” Jesse grins into Kix’s hairline. And the answering laugh is something that makes warmth creep across Jesse’s cheeks.

_ Old gods,  _ he wasn’t a cadet anymore, yet the sound of Kix laughing at him, something that was  _ rare,  _ made him feel like he was a cadet again. 

“Oh I’m sure, you’d get yourself killed without me.” Kix smiles. 

“Then I guess you’ll have to stick around.” 

“Oh  _ no,  _ how  _ tragic.”  _ Kix has never sounded more sarcastic in his life. It fills Jesse with a sense of  _ hope.  _ Kix has always had that sort of effect on him.

They don’t say anything else, nothing else needs to be said. Jesse doesn’t know where this war is going. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do afterwards,  _ kriff _ , he doesn’t even know if he’s going to survive; but right now? Right now he’s got his  _ delightful riduur  _ with him, legs tangled and arms wrapped around each other, and for a moment, everything is okay. 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed! I’m not the best at writing romance but! I think it was okay!
> 
> also! if anyone is interested in a discord to talk about clone/clone shipping, https://discord.gg/gKGFsz


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